Recently I have been struck by the question of how could free love/polyamory work, if at all.
I was highly skeptical of the idea, as what I have seen so far was immaturity parading as spirituality.
and emotional bypassing dressed as "freedom."
This is not a pamphlet to promote any particular practice; it is best you stick to what works for you and avoid any radical changes.
And this would be a good place to start.
Any real genuine change of belief, lifestyle, or even course of life must be gradual.
Quick, radical manic changes sometimes occur, but even if, it is better to sit with it for a few months
and avoid making rash decisions.
Having said that, we can now get to the meat of the matter.
The debate between polyamory and monogamy has become popular lately, and both sides have run to argue their way is better, more natural, more healthy, et al.
That is ridiculous and immature.
If you feel the need to convince others that was somehow better, more spiritual, or more natural,
stop reading and go do it somewhere else.
YOu cannot prescribe or preach on how a certain way of life in such intimate matters should look like.
It is a personal choice by every individual and more of an exploration than a set goal.
The Truth is I have seen societies where hijabs are the norm, and women are happy wearing them, and they choose it themselves.
They spent their whole lives in monogamous relationships, not even looking at another man, and they are happy (in their own words)
And I have recently seen cultures where free Love is the norm but is done with respect, Love, sensitivity, and clear boundaries that are clear for anyone with some sensitivity.
And it is worse if you have adult, conscious, mature people whose life works and they just decide to explore.
And probably there are ways in which even extremely open, anything-goes rules are applied, and for people with enough maturity and responsibility, it can work.
Though I have not seen that in practice yet, so I may only guess.
The point is this poetic exploration is not to argue for or against one or another lifestyle.
It is simply to point out that none of them is better or worse, and I find those "proofs" ridiculous; it is more a case of a psychological question: Why do I feel the need to be right and others wrong."
Than any moral or philosophical matter.
What I have learned so far (and I am open to change at any time, of course) is that a set of life or practice may work within a certain culture or a subculture on the condition individuals are mature enough and given freely and consciously chosen this practice
and are open to growth and change.
And then don't make it a matter of creed or some "spiritual teaching.,
You may basically "Love and do what thou wilt" to mix Augustine and some other less orthodox ideology.
But YOU are responsible for all the consequences and issues that may and will arise as it happens in Life.,
If you or anyone is not able and willing to take ownership of ALL that may arise from the real-life application of the idea
It is better left alone.
Be it free Love or making soup.
It will be sour, and nobody will want to eat it.
If, on the other hand: you have patience, Love, Wisdom, and Time, and you actually LOVE making soups, not just eating.
Then you may have a good place to start.
But don't blame me if it does not "work."
(assuming you are a responsible adult) : Be a sovereign wild being, and walk into the adventure and see where it takes you.
Just, for the Love of God and all Gods, and elves, fairies, and the ancient ones:
DON'T make it into a "thing."
Make into and